What a week it’s been for the curvy couch! It’s been especially trying for our glamazon Gretch – who’s had to deal with being punked, being caught on camera wearing the same outfit twice and verbally sparring with her arch nemesis Dana Perino. Sadly, today was no different as The Dooce took the day off and was replaced by the Knuckledragger, Eric Bolling, (the man who likes to wear an open necked shirt and play constantly with a pen at crotch level) who at one point directed our heroine to “get me a pumpkin donut!” She can’t get no respeck!
Tweet: Gretch sitting like 2 feet away from Bolling, wont even look at him. The curvy couch not so fun today
But despite her heartache- mirrored in the sad, gray dress she wore in honor of the occasion - Gretch soldiered on and even managed to stay out of the cross fires today during the cat fight between legendary explorer Geraldo and the Knuckledragger.
The Knuckledragger was trying to explain that the Obama administration’s flip flop on terror attacks in #Libya and its decision to spend $70K on an ad in Pakistan was BAD! And an APOLOGIST MOVE! And how dare he…blahblahblah. Geraldo, live from LA, schooled the crap out of him. I will let the tweets tell the story:
GERALDO: i dont want to attribute malice to (Rice) but… (@foxandfriends crew upset)
Finally! GERADO criticizes administration- Bolling: THATS MORE LIKE IT! you spent the first few minutes of this interview saying maybe they were just misinformed
Bolling: you know better than that Geraldo! There’s no way that they’re just now realizing this was a preplanned attack over obama taking victory laps!
Geraldo smacks down Bolling! You just made a great leap there eric as you often do…
G: how do you know what the motivation was? Bolling: I DONT! (FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!)
geraldo: we are war with al qaeda! (bolling shamed, playing w pen) Bolling: how you know that and our master (Obama) doesn’t?
Then onto the Pakistan ads:
Geraldo on “Sorry” ads in Pakistan: you have a hunk of the muslim world thats 100 years behind us - not the educated elite
(ed note: I thought Fox hated the educated elites?)
Geraldo then tries to patiently explain to the curvy couch why the ad in Pakistan is a good thing. The Curvy Couch wasn’t having it.
geraldo: there’s nothing wrong w trying to tell the masses hey listen this was some creepy person – who doesn’t represent the people of US!
geraldo: to say this ad is denigrating the honor of US - its not an apology its an explanation!
At this point pint @kilmeade tries to butt in and Geraldo calls him Eric (knuckle dragger) - @kilmeade VERY UPSET!
@kilmeade: this ad wont do anything! g: well what are you gonna do brian?
@kilmeade: how can we possibly reign in millions of people? we cant apologize to everyone!
geraldo: how are we in anyway diminished (by this ad)?
(and this is where Knuckledragger comes in)
Bolling: HERES HOW GERALDO! people are in the battlefield dying for their country who dont want to hear it!!
G: ERIC! i know the men and women on the battlefield! Bolling: I KNOW YOU DO!
G: what people need less than anything is people agitating a mob! (chyron: APOLOGIZING FOR AMERICA!) –
G: we have to appreciate that (people in afghanistan/muslims?) are almost childlike! Dare I say it (oh lord)
(oh, Geraldo went there! Hear that muslims? You’re childlike!)
But back to the fight:
Tweet: @kilmeade: we’ve been apologzing for 3.5 years! G: what do you wanna do ? send more troops? resurge? occupy libya? less is more
@kilmeade not letting up as he’s schooled by Geraldo, mumbling: we’re apologizing„ apologizing!
At this point, I’m starting to feel like Fox and Friends is the short bus brigade of the Fox News family. They can’t go off message – they wouldn’t know what else to say.
Other developments in the hour include Charlie Gasparino showing up with a HUGE shiner on his face – either that or he got an eyelift on his right eye. WTF happened Charlie? Inquiring minds want to know!
Next up – an odd segment on a Hispanic lion trainer with a Hispanic reporter because it’s National Hispanic Heritage Month! And nobody knows how to celebrate it like Fox News!
But the big discussion was on the Obama “gotcha!” move to Romney – in which Obama comes out and says government has to be fixed from the outside… waits for Romney to attack him and then Obama releases a tape of Romney SAYING THE SAME THING (several years ago). Ouch.
Don’t worry – our crew is up for the challenge!
Tweet: Bolling: apples and Oranges! people dont want obamacare! Romney saying fix it fro outside by bringing in private sector!
Someone should really get Knuckledragger some pads for his hands.
By this time, I’d had enough and Karl Froelich had to go outside to pee so I bailed.
Talking Points of the Day;
· Obama tricked Romney!
· Obama wants to change DC from the outside – but in BAD ways – Romney in GOOD ways!
· Obama is an apologist for America!
· Obama administration should all be fired or resign.
· Jesse Jackson saved Americans in Gambia – something Obama shouldve done but didn’t!
· Fox News loves Hispanic lion trainers
· Obama: lousy in foreign policy and allows terror attacks on our soil (read: YOU ARE NOT SAFE!