Dear @CNN: Heres Some Helpful Hints
So today CNN finally got ripped a new one by the Huffington Post - and a softball rip by the NY Times - for being a comical shadow of it’s former self. It aint nothing we havent been saying for years but now that its in TWO national pubs they will pay attention. So, in that spirit, here we go:
Dear CNN,
I say all the below out of love and longing for what you used to be and what you could be. This time it’s free advice. Next time I’ll send you a bill.
1. The NEWS should be the stars.. not the “stars” whom you pay millions to for meager returns. They are more comet dust than stars. That $ should be taken from them - everyone given a nice basic AFTRA $250K salary - and the remainder used to do what you used to do best - place reporters all over the world and report on things! You have almost no Africa coverage (the continent, not the country), despite Al Quaeda setting up camp in the Sahara, nothing from South Asia, India or well, anywhere else.
2. Stop trying to be MSNBC. I get it =- there’s an election coming up. But THERE IS UNILATERAL EXHAUSTION WITH THIS CRAP. there’s also elections in France, germany, etc. This election is like Back to the Future 1980: with talk of gloria steinem, birth control, abortion, commies and Mitt Romney’s Reagan hair.
3. Fill the vacuum- nobody but al Jazeera and BBC are doing international news - and most people dont have access to them. When there is a gap, someone should fill it - and you used to do it so well. Americans want to know what else is going on in the world. Look at how the BBC covered Putin’s $1 billion house - hell yes, my Aunt Dee in Ohio wants to know about some corrupt jackhole, who is scuppering America’s plans at every turn, and has a billion dollar house!
4. Get creative.There are ways to cover stories that are already “dead” - stories like OWS - boring yes - but get somebody to look at their tax returns (it is tax season and they did collect hundreds of thousands of dollars)… Have somebody ride with the rebels in Mali, oh and our neighbor HONDURAS was just named the murder capital of the world and its a two hour flight away! people would watch this. They dont want to watch Anderson, wolf, and the other Deal or No Deal girls you got on blathering into infinity while talking to holograms and tweeting.
5. Your website is an embarrassment. If I wanted to know about Kim Kardashian - trust. I’ve heard it from 900 other places.
6. AMERICANS CANT UNDERSTAND A BRITISH ACCENT. Seriously. That is why few people with charming accents have ever gotten long lasting jobs on TV - because my family in Ohio and Kentucky dont understand them. And again - enough with Brits cheekily interviewing Celebs. we have too many of them.
7. get a few decent reporters who know how to find a story and set them loose. I can find five decent stories in Podunk Kentucky within an hour (that people would people would actually watch), so why cant you?
8. Stop hiring off of padded ivy league resumes and broadcasting schools. Get some real reporters who dont care if they have to travel with a hair, makeup and personal staff.
9. anchors are anchors. They are news readers. They stay behind a desk. Reporters go out in the field. You cant do both and still have the company make $.
10. You clearly think we in the flyover states are stupid. I would take your top execs, hand them $1000 cash and a KIA (and take their credit cards) and make them drive cross country for 2 weeks, meeting real people. Maybe then they’d realize we’re not stupid and dont take kindly to being talked down to. Say what you will about Fox, but they dont assume the people out there are stupid and they dont talk down to them. Maybe thats why the people watch.
Stop with the entertainment - make news again.
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