January 2012
102 posts
SAG Awards Drinking Game. →
ryanhatesthis.tumblr.com
I don’t drink, but if I did, I would play this game.
Drink every time…
A presenter congratulates the nominees and actors in general for all of their “hard work” (or some variation on that.)
Someone makes a joke about Ricky Gervais
Downton Abbey wins (is it nominated?)
Someone jokes about Fassbender’s wang, even though he’s not nominated.
The dog from The Artist distracts everyone from how boring and deadly serious the awards ceremony is.
A winner thanks “God,” “Jesus,” “Harvey Weinstein” or “Scott Rudin.”
Someone mentions how funny women are after Bridesmaids.
Skinny Jonah Hill. That’s all.
Betty White wins.
Betty White is mentioned.
Mildred Pierce is still around?
Steve Carrell yet again doesn’t win for The Office.
Someone decides to sing because Glee’s nominated for something. Or someone sings in general.
Joke about when Smash starts.
Feel free to reblog and add more.Just drink the entire time.
With Age, Men May Lose Thinking Ability Faster Than Women : Shots - Health Blog : NPR →
npr.org
File under: Things I Felt Like I Knew Already, But Am Now Glad I Have Proof
I post this with no comment.
Something Here Is Not Like The Other - Male Edition!
Did Bradley Cooper get a Chin Job?
Bradley Cooper from Sex and the City in 1999
And the Coop now..
Good work, docs!
Swedish Explorers Find the Millenium Falcon. Finally.
Swedish explorers found this random object on the bottom of the Baltic Sea. The crack reporters at the Daily Mail have helpfully identified the object. It’s the Millenium Falcon - Han Solo was un-cryogenically frozen just to land at the bottom of the Baltic Sea? WTF? Is there no justice in the universe?
Romney's Tax Returns Show How Laws Favor the Wealthy →
And this guy wants to be President. Maybe he can get us all offshore bank accounts/tax shelters… who needs paved roads or civil services anyway?
From the NYTimes:
Mitt Romney and his wife, Ann, made $27 million in 2010. They held millions of dollars in a Swiss bank account and millions more in partnerships in the Cayman Islands. His family’s trusts sold thousands of shares in Goldman Sachs that were offered to favored clients when…
The Disappearing Shep Smith...
My favorite anchor (and I’m not being facetious, he’s actually awesome) is taking this gym thing a bit too far…
IN the beginning..
2005:
2010:
recently:
3 days ago:
It’s like he’s melting away in front of our very eyes…
Awesome (ACTUAL) Ideas From The Man Who Could Be our Next President
Sometimes I think Newt Gingrich has forgotten to take his Lexipro…. Actual ideas he’s offered up to help solve the inevitable conundrum of how to spend the American tax payer’s money:
1. Shoot lasers at North Korea (That’ll teach em!)
2. Forget Overcrowding or even over spending - Newt has an idea: MOON COLONIES!
3. Clearly a fan of James Bond movies, Gingrich is a fan of “shooting down ballistic missiles from space” with “orbital death rays.” Fun fact: Guess who else thought of Orbital Death Rays? That’s right, the Nazis.
4. Kill Marijuana smugglers (Because marijuana is so damn deadly you got to fight fire with fire!)
5. MOON MADNESS! Newt is obsessed with the Moon - it’s like his secret weapon. All problems can be solved by looking to the moon.
Newt’s plans for the moon include:
- colonies (see above)
- Make the moon America’s 51st state (NOT KIDDING! F YOU PUERTO RICO! The moon doesn’t have anyone who wants to immigrate here - hahaha!)
- Mine the moon for minerals (that no one can find … yet. Just ask NASA)
- FARM the moon. Because it’s full of such tillable and arable soil…
- Get some space mirrors up there - that way we can see ALL crime, ALL the time. It’s like the moon is Newt’s Tru TV.
All these great ideas don’t come free, now… So instead of spending on education, infrastructure or just plain paving our roads.. we could have all these awesome projects. Thanks, Newt.
The Three Stories That Gave Off A Stinky Stank This Week
1. Patrick Witt - The Yale University quarterback who supposedly withdrew his Rhodes Scholarship nomination/interview so he could play in the Yale/Harvard game. He now isn’t a Rhodes a candidate, isn’t enrolled (nor graduated from) Yale and isn’t playing in the game. He’s just kind of gone AWOL.
so many things about this story stink.
- No one in the media bothered to ask questions months ago when he was being touted as America’s wonder boy about what was really going on.
- How did an informal anonymous complaint derail everything? That’s just odd to me.
- How did Yale and the Yale Daily News look the other way for so long on what is turning out to be a weird behavioral pattern?
2. Greg Kelly is Accused of Rape by a Paralegal Who Then Got Pregnant.
This story reeks.
- After the alleged assault: The woman told authorities she continued to exchange what the source described as non- confrontational messages with Kelly following the alleged assault. (ED NOTE: WTF???)
- They flirted, got drunk, had sex. Then they flirted some more afterwards over several weeks. THEN she got pregnant. THEN her boyfriend found out. THEN the shit hit the fan. This smacks of Dominique Strauss Kahn.
- I want to know if anyone asked anyone else for $.
- And yes, I tweeted about Greg. It was a brain fart. Do I love the guy? no. But damn, this is crazy.
Joe Paterno died and was hailed as a “Hero.” Seriously? A HERO?
- Somebody should ask the Penn State molestation victims how they feel about that term being applied to a man who could’ve stopped that shizz in two seconds. (AND HE KNEW): On November 5, 2011, former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was arrested on 40 counts relating to a sex abuse scandal, including allegations of incidents on the Penn State campus.[35] A 2011 grand jury investigation reported that then-graduate assistant Mike McQueary told Paterno in 2002 that he had seen Sandusky abusing a 10-year-old boy in Penn State football’s shower facilities
- Fun facts from Wikipedia: In 1995, Paterno was forced to apologize for a profanity-laced tirade directed at Rutgers then-head coach Doug Graber at the conclusion of a nationally televised game.[11] He was also accused of “making light of sexual assault” in 2006 by the National Organization for Women which called for his resignation,[12] and was involved in a road rage incident in 2007.
- Sounds like a hero to me! HE WAS A FRICKING FOOTBALL COACH, PEOPLE!
OK, Seriously - That's a Ridiculous Amount Of Turtles...
1,500 Pig Nosed Turtles found in Flyers luggage… WTF?
This raises so many questions:
1. What kind of luggage was it?
2. How big WAS that suitase?
3. Who knew there was such a demand for pig-nosed turtles?
4. Since they have a pig nose, do the turtles snore?
I love how Rush Limbaugh and the Right Is Freaking Out
That Warren Buffet’s Secretary gets paid between $200K and $500K. Thats what high level executive secretaries make. Just ask Rupert Murdoch’s assistant… Or Roger Ailes… Or Jamie Dimon… OR ANY EXECUTIVE SEARCH FIRM.
At least they’re being open about it and talking about taxes and actual figures…
Kevin Lee and Bobby Trendy - The Same Person?
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, over the top gaysian wedding planner Kevin Lee (the inspiration for Martin Short’s wedding planner on Father of the Bride) kept reminding me of someone last night… and then I realized who it was - Anna Nicole Smith’s old BFF - Bobby Trendy!
Ok fine - so maybe personality and voice more than looks.. but still.
So I Updated My Page A Bit With Travel Sections
I now have sections for every country I’ve been to and written about (Vietnam, Iraq). Kenya and Mali coming up within the next few days… That way I can condense all the posts and if you all actually want to GO on these trips you can just click on the tabs and it will tell you how to do it.
