November 2011
52 posts
Designers Three As Four have been stealing again...
From the NYTimes:
On Sunday night, the fashion collective Three as Four opened its highly anticipated exhibition “Insalaam Inshalom” at the Beit Ha’Ir Center for Urban Culture in Tel Aviv, bringing to fruition a project over two years in the making.
From Kazakhstani designer Sergei Shabunin (during Kazakhstani Fashion Week 2010)
and
Rehab DOES Work!
[Ed Note: Ths will be my geekiest post. Ever]
This is why we should focus on prisons being rehabilitative rather than punitive… If a truly evil guy like Long Feng - the head of the Dai Li assassins in the Earth Kingdom of Ba Singh Se in “The Last Airbender” can be rehabilitated into a fully fledged business owner and productive member of society, anyone can!
Long Feng in his previous, evil incarnation:
After spending a few years in prison, and doing a work release program, Long Feng started a trucking/import/export business in Soho… Specializing in Heineken deliveries.
close up:
I Do Love People Magazine's Online Headlines
Which include such gems as:
What’s Britney Spears’ Book Recommendations? (11/29/11)
[I didn’t realize she reads]
This feature can (and will be) updated daily
Kellan Lutz Shaves His Head - Completely! (11/30/11)
Apparently, The Old Wives Tales Are True...
Man With World’s Largest Feet Sleeps With A Shitload Of Women. Carl Griffin claims, “Women Only Want Me For One Thing.” [Not his looks].
Carl Griffin may only be 21, but he’s already humped over 30 women thanks to his podiatric assets, claiming it’s his size 21 feet that mesmerize. Griffin also confirms, “The rumors about big feet are true.”
Chinese Kids Are Seriously Getting Screwed.
Beijing writer Xiao Baiyou, above with his four children, has nicknamed himself Wolf Dad, and is ready to take on the American-born Chinese Tiger Mom in his new book “My Beida Children.” Xiao advocates a “wolf culture” which regards society as a jungle and believes “in the most traditional and primitive old methods” in disciplining his children, including “constant scolding and, if necessary, physical punishment.” He summarizes his educational philosophy as: “Beat your children every three days. They’ll definitely get into Beida (university).”
Naturally, he claims his four children are “very happy.” Just don’t ask their shrinks.
[And the Chinese wonder why they are rasing a generation without compassion and empathy].
So Today The New York Times' Scion, Little Sulzberger, Broke Some News
Specifically, on man camps. (yeah, I know, I got excited for a hot second too… the FIRST time I read about them!)
Unfortunately, this exact same topic already appeared in the AP, Yahoo, Huffington Post, and almost every single local paper and TV outlet (20/20 did a special on them!) BACK IN SEPTEMBER AND OCTOBER. Sigh. I’m pissed off with media today.
Fun Fact: HLN (CNN's redheaded step sister) Now Wants To be "All Crime All The Time"
Ugh. So apparently, the marketing dude they hired to run HLN has set out an edict - All True Crime, All The Time. Also - he told people to think “dumb Middle America.” I get sick and tired of these jackholes in NYC and LA thinking that my people are stupid. And then they wonder why they don’t get ratings or get excited with a .9 - your mother could get a .9. Not to mention, isn’t there already TruTV (gag), and enough Dateline ID on Discovery to gag a sick pig with? (Remember HLN’s ratings anti- bonanza of “All Conrad Murray, All The Time”?).
No wonder Joy Behar quit.
So, in the spirit of regurgitating crap and bad ideas, lets help them, shall we? How About:
Kate Gosselin (She’s great for ratings!) Goes Undercover And Tries To Snare Cheating Husbands!
That Hot (for a judge) Brooklyn Jurist, Patricia Dimango, Who Totally Oversteps Her Bounds And Acts Like She Is Already On TV Doling Out Street Justice With Hard Advice Who was Just IN The NEw York Times Gets Her Own Show!
A “News N Views” roundtable show With “real” personalities who “tell it like it is”: Khloe Kardashian (she speaks her mind!), Jerry Springer’s ex-bodyguard Steve Wilkos (watch out! you never know what he’ll do!), Paula Zahn (to class it up) and Joe Jackson (You gotta have a minority AND he’s a Jackson! Jacko was a ratings SMASH! Killing two ratings birds with one stone).
Kiddie Kops with Celebrity Spawn.
The Truant Muse: Journalistic Shorthand →
moorehn.tumblr.com
One of the biggest disappointments in the development of professional newsrooms over the past 30 years - that is, as journalists morphed from drunken outsiders to clean-cut Woodward and Bernstein Ivy-League careerists - is how increasingly standard “news” writing consists of bloodless prose,…
This afternoon on Twitter, a number of journalists offered their own hilarious translations for this coded reporting language, at least where it is designed to avoid responsibility or act as a craven grab for glory. The collection is below. Watch out for these codes in a newspaper or TV near you.
Today in journalese: “little noticed”. Translation: “we totally missed this story” - j.mp/vZ3IAi (Stacy-Marie Ishmael, @s_m_i _
“I can exclusively reveal” = “assuming you don’t use Twitter” (@s_m_i )
“It is understood” = “We think…” ( @s_m_i)
“We have learned” = “We read in another paper” (Lorcan Roche Kelly, @lorcanrk)
“Observers say” (when not followed by specific quote from named individual = “my editor said” (Shannon Bond, @shannonpareil)
“According to people familiar with the matter” = ” …at the PR firm that fed us the story.” (@moorehn)
“Reportedly” = “already published elsewhere.” (@Editer)
“Controversial” = “saw some guy ranting about it on CNN” (@Editer)
“Set to…” = “This will almost definitely happen but I’m covering my ass in case it doesn’t.” (@shannonpareil)
“The companies are mulling/ in talks” = “The PR/banker told me this on background, primarily to test the market reaction before they sign.” (@moorehn)
“It is unclear.” = “The two people I talked to disagree with each other.” (@shannonpareil)
”It is unclear.” = “The one person I talked to disagreed with me.” (@liamdenning)
To be included on the list
“One insider said” (I said to my coworkers)
“Overheard…” (from my mouth)
Four Tourists Kidnapped - One Killed - In Timbuktu Yesterday. I'm Still Going To The Essakane Music Festival Though. F Those Hooligans..
So. apparently THIS happened yesterday
Gunmen burst into a restaurant in Timbuktu on Friday, grabbed four tourists and executed one when he refused to climb into their truck, according to a witness and an official who inspected the body. The armed men entered the Amanar restaurant and pointed their guns at four tourists dining inside, said Moussa Boubacar, a client at the restaurant. When the gunmen tried to make them enter a vehicle, one of the tourists refused, Mr. Boubacar said, and the kidnappers opened fire. The victims’ nationalities could not immediately be confirmed, but witnesses described them as European.
I’m still going though. I figure, this will make security EXTRA tight for the Essakane Music Festival…! NO way I’m letting some jackhole hoodlums scare me from living my life.
I Got To Start Dating Like Naomi Campbell
Her (Married) Russian billionaire boyfriend Vladislav Doronin bought her Shaquille O’Neal’s house n Star Island in 2009 … and he also got her this place in Turkey a month ago (she’s very spiritual, you know)…
Vladislav Doronin, gifted the 41-year-old supermodel a 25-room a 5-lounge eco-friendly retreat home for her birthday. From the aerial view, you can see that the Turkish island home that rests on Isla Playa de Cleopatra is in the shape of the Eye of Horus:
“…the glass dome-shaped house was designed by architect Luis de Garrido, and “is completely energy and water self-sufficient and features an amazing indoor landscaped terrace.”
It is also shaped like the eye of ancient Egyptian deity, Horus.”
Read more: Naomi Campbell’s Boyfriend Buys Her a House in the Shape of the Eye of Horus | Necole Bitchie.com
I gotta get me a Russkie.
Thanksgiving At Aunt Joanie's (Caroline's Aunt Joan Rivers)
I just love, love love Aunt Joanie… a truly amazing human being… Has the BEST TURKEY DAY!Below, yours truly with Joan and The Maltese Falcon
here’s Caroline with her fiance, Miguel:
Me and Larry:
it started getting silly: (with Melissa):
The table:
And I ended up in heaven:
Something Here Looks Suspiciously Like The Other
Khmer Rouge Head Nuon Chea
vs. Professor Farnsworth (Futurama)
You Ever Get The Feeling JLo Is Trying Too Hard?
Jlo at American Music Awards last night (above).
And here’s Britney Spears EIGHT years ago
and TEN (ish) years ago…
I don’t want to be the one to say it but….
Napping at HuffPo →
nymag.com
Huffington turns her considerable charisma on the children at her feet. “Who likes to nap?” she asks. “You know, in the AOL–Huffington Post offices we have two nap rooms, and grown-up people like me can even go in in the middle of the day and take a nap, and then they can come out…
Romper Room lives!
(via popsins)
This headline and item are hilarious … for so many reasons. Especially if you pay attention to the Huffington Post “headlines” since they merged with AOL.
The Best Excuse Given For a Drinks Cancellation. Ever.
Given to me today by a good friend who shall remain anonymous.
Dang……tonight won’t work my colonic lady called and had a cancellation so now she can flush my colon/ ass tonight before thanksgiving
Try Not To Cr-p Your Pants With Excitement: Karl Froelich Is Starting A Kanine Gossip Column
It’s true. Karl is becoming the Walter Winchell of the Canine world. Column will be called: Karl’s Kanine Kolumn (an ode to the Kardashians and Satan. Although after talking to the family’s pets, Karl is convinced they are one and the same). Karl’s Kolumn is set to debut in Feb when I’m back from Mali - and will include the answers to the questions that keep you up at night, including: who is back in Poopeaters Anonymous? Which Labrador had some disturbing interspecies canine/feline love affairs? Which Boston Terrier farts in his famous mother’s face while she sleeps yet kisses her face when she’s awake? Which reality “starlet” has Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome and makes her Bulldog wear the Cone of Shame even though he was neutered three years ago (above, Karl during his own cone of shame/Ralph Lauren polo days)?… Wait and find out!
PS: Karls twitter handle is @karlfroelich
